Feb. 12th, 2009 10:03 am
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Who would have thought that the surprise guest star in the movie was Captain America??

Check out this review of the "pre-release" that was done in Turkey!
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Hi Dr. Gamer, I'm a huge fan, first time poster, long time reader - and I was just wondering: what does THAC0 mean?? signed, n000bers in Saskatchewan

Well n000bers, it's an acronym from the early editions of "Dungeons & Dragons" which apparently were published long before you came into your nerditude. I hate you for making me feel old. THAC0 stands for "To Ham Armor Class 0" and represents the amount of ham you have to throw at a naked Dwarf before he'll stop hurting you. (and you better hope it's a he, it's hard to tell sometimes)
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I always knew baby gladiators would come into vogue.

New icon

Feb. 15th, 2007 12:45 pm
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New icon, made from God Eyes.

He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows when you've been bad or good, SO BE GOOD FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!

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'You Old People Better Get Down With It, Or We're Going To Soylent Green Your Asses,' Writes Blogger

In a bold move at 10:12a.m. today, notable Generation X blogger Hammy McSmythe posted an entry in his Blogspot electronic diary indicating that people over the age of 50 need to "ingest a clue" or "face the consequences." This of course in response to the shutdown of the city of New Haven and the mobilization of National Guard forces in response to the discovery of a rubber ducky in the shape of Mr. T left on the curb of Wooster Street.

"We're sick and tired of these whiny Baby Boomer bitches jumping any time they see something 'suspicious'. Every time a new episode of 24 airs on FOX, it feeds their need to be scared. ZOMGWTF!! What's wrong with these paranoid pussies?"

U.S. Representative Dick Hunt (D-MA) was quoted earlier this morning at a press conference: "The person or persons responsible for this heinous terrorist hoax will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. I will also be pursuing new legislation that will impose a mandatory 11 year jail sentence for anyone responsible for making me dirty my underwear."

Mary Wootenstein of West Haven was scared shitless. "WHAT THE HELL?? Who wouldn't be afraid of a thing like that? I mean, just look at it, it's obviously some kind of bomb!" A nearby man who overheard Mary's comment shouted: "BOMB?? OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!"

This photo of the suspicious object was taken yesterday afternoon

McSmythe posted the very same photo in his own journal two weeks ago, when he first discovered the rubber duck and remarked days later that nobody had touched the thing, and found the whole situation humorous. His amusement quickly turned to revulsion when he discovered that the six hours he had spent in traffic evacuating the city were due to hysteria caused by the object.

McSmythe continued: "I swear, I cannot wait for these Baby Boomers to start dying off. How can they not understand the cultural zeitgeist that has produced the Mr. T Rubber Ducky? Are they really that insular and out of touch? Well, my Social Security taxes are paying for their sorry elderly asses! When they're all infirm and bedridden in the next 20 years, they're going to be looking for me to nurse them into their graves - well, they can forget it!!"
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If You Ruled the Land . . . by wackyweasel
Your first name:
How you gained your rule:
Your title is:Your Godliness
Your symbol is:a crown, because, um, you wear one
You rule from:an ice palace - cold, but so, well, cool!
At your side is:your Royal Chocolate Carrier
Your enforcers, troops, and guards are all:elves - with WINGS!!
Your most popular law is:Five-day weekends
Your least popular law is:Hot people register for draft; hey, your guards get old
Your worst enemy is:your unstable water bed - how can you sleep?!
Your popularity rating is:: 94%
Your chance of being overthrown is:: 63%
Quiz created with MemeGen!


Mar. 3rd, 2006 11:33 pm
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v: Someone going to say something? Anybody?

t: You have been impregnated... without copulation.

v: Yes, and I'm absolutely terrified. Have any of you ever heard of anything like it??

m: Well, there's one...

t: Darth Vader.

v: Really?

t: Mm.

v: How did that turn out?


Mar. 3rd, 2006 02:36 pm
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Aquamarine, or Ultraviolet?
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If today is horny bloody werewolf day, what the heck is St. Patrick's Day??
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I want to dress up in goat skins and whip naked women to make them fertile!!

Happy bloody horny werewolf day!
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"Would sticking your eyeball in a woman's eye socket consitute a sex offense?"

"Well, rape is legally defined as putting an unwanted foreign object into a genital opening, so sexual... no?"

"But offensive...? Yeah. Yeah."
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"What eats alligators?"

"Other alligators."

"That's the only predator an alligator has?"

"Basically, once they reach a maturity of four foot yeah. Pretty much."

"So that's why we gotta get these things separated, they're big enough now they're looking at each other. You don't feed em, they go on one another."

"So that's your job today. To separate 'em."


Jan. 31st, 2006 07:27 pm
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"Love is in the air. And the entire single population is wondering... am I too short, too tall, too bald, too pale, too big, too skinny, too nice, too mean, too picky, too boring, too busy, too hairy, too weird? Well, the answer is... maybe."

But Dairy Queen loves me just the way I am. :)


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