The Decider!

He solves all problems.

We need to bring democracy to the Middle East!
"I'm sending in the National Guard."

We need to secure our borders!
"I'm sending in the National Guard."

There's a Force 5 hurricane coming!
"Send in the Guard."

Alligators are attacking in Florida!
"The National Guard can take care of that."

Gas is over $3.00 a gallon!
"I want to send the National Guard in." (oh wait, they're already in the Middle East, aren't they?)

Interest rates! The deficit!!
"It's obvious to me that the Guard can alleviate these issues."

The Da Vinci Code is opening on Friday!
"The only solution is to utilize the National Guard."