Why I Am Actually Eleven Years Old

Because I laughed when I read this:

"With these new features, I believe that anybody, regardless of age or gender, will be urged to touch our Wii at least once," Iwata said.

I am Beavis *and* Butt-head.

Crisis averted due to judicious unchecking of a checkbox

I nearly got shipped to Belgium. That was close.

If you're ever in merrie olde Englande, and you're looking for something to bring back for little old me, grab a bag of Claudio Corallo chocolates at Fortnum and Mason.

We can't get those volcanically grown single origin beauties in this here great nation of ours because of the dumb fuck USAPATRIOTIAMADUMBREDNECK Act.

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

Or not.

(I'm not bitter. The chocolate is. I'm just overtired.)

(Also I just want to say once again that I love the near infinite variety in cheese, wine, and chocolate. That is all.)