Warren Commands Me

Thus I post a link to his weekly webcomic, Freakangels:

http://www.freakangels.com/

It's about a steampunk dystopia populated by psychic teenagers and the victims of their powers (the kids caused the apocalypse). It's about two "issues" in so far, so it's easy to catch up and read.

Satirists: 'We Were Only Fucking Kidding'

NEW YORK, NY - Staff members at a nationally distributed, satirical multimedia publishing syndicate expressed remorse and indignation over the Bush administration's complete and utter fulfillment of a sardonic article (allegedly intended to be humorous) first printed over seven years ago.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784

"What the fuck?" exclaimed one assistant editor. "Look at this, it all came true. We were only fucking kidding!!" Other staff members could express only shock and sadness at what appears to be their truly prophetic writing abilities. One staff writer went on to say: "I'm going to write an article about a staff writer named Trey winning the goddamn lottery. Look for it in the next issue."

Former White House spokesperson Ari Fleischer, when approached for comment, did recall that he handed the aforementioned article to the president when it was originally published. He remembers laughing and saying: "Hey G.W., check this shit out..." to which he received only an ominous silent reply.

A call placed to Karl Rove resulted in three minutes of mocking peals of laughter.

The original author of the piece could not be reached for comment, as he apparently went missing some time in February of 2001.


An issue of the weekly publication

Pope: 'Women Suck'

VATICAN CITY, VATICAN - Citing the relatively low probability of women being sex offenders, the Catholic Pope today vowed to excommunicate any ordained female priests.

"They just aren't as good as men at molesting children," spake the pontiff. "And hey, I'd NEVER trust something that bleeds for a week every month and doesn't die!"

http://www.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idUSL2986418520080529?feedType=RSS&feedName=worldNews&rpc=22&sp=true

The Pope then added: "I will say however, that we will fully support the idea of indoctrinating alien priests. That is to say, extraterrestrials who find God and convert to our way of life. As long as they have an appendage that closely resembles a penis, and they do their best to oppress others of their kind who do not have the penis-shaped appendage, AND, and they don't BLEED FOR A WEEK! Then yes, we will definitely allow aliens in the holy priesthood before we'd ever allow one of Adam's ribs to perform our sacred, superstitious rites."

Sources close to the leader of the Catholic Church say that he never could get a date when he was younger, despite sporting a dashing appearance while wearing his Hitler Youth uniform.