Actual Conversations I Had Friday Night

[I'm standing on a corner waiting for a light to change. The very thin middle aged black man standing next to me speaks.]

man: "Men don't compliment each other often enough you sir are a handsome man." (said in one long breath)

me: "Thank you."

man: "Are you Greek? Middle Eastern? Italian?"

me: "Italian, yes."

man: "You're a lover."

(I raise my eyebrows)

man: "You know what they say, don't you? Ain't no dick like a black man or an Italian. We got it baby!!" (light changes) "Good night, arrividerci! Ciao, bello!"


[Later in the night, I'm in a bar with a friend, and two resident surgeons and a nurse sit with us. The nurse begins talking about the upcoming election.]

nurse: "I'm voting for McCain and Palin. Palin's got executive experience!"

me: "Excuse me. But I have to ask: where did you get this phrase, 'executive experience'? Is there a sheet that gets handed out that tells everyone what to say? What does that even mean?"

nurse: "Well she's an executive. Obama has never held an executive position, neither has Biden."

me: "That doesn't mean anything. You do also realize that McCain never had executive experience either?"

nurse: "Well yeah, but, um, he was in the, um, military."

me: "That means nothing. All that means is that he knows how to follow orders, maybe. He's not an executive."

nurse: "Well yeah, but I just don't trust Obama. I can't vote for him. I don't want to vote for any of them..." (backpedal, backpedal, they eventually leave the table as she senses that she made a "faux pas" in talking the politics of idiots)


[DAMN untrustworthy, those crazy brown people!!]

Six word review of Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Dirty old Woody Allen's "Chasing Amy".