"if people seek the company of others at unstable times, isn't that itself an argument for multiple relationships?" Not necessarily, it could be to prove they are worthy, prove they have money, prove they can seduce someone, prove they can occupy their time with others without depending on their absent significant other. All or any of these reasons factor into relationships and extra-relationship relationships, but are they grounds for saying someone has a relationship or is just sleeping with someone to prove something?
Where can we draw the line? If we are interested in body contact, then any single contact might be considered "relationship." If we are interested in saying relationships are only those recognized by our family who recognizes marriage for life, than the affairs might amount to nothing and it is up to the individual whether they chose to use their time in this manner. If we believe a relationship may come out of a random or closeted affair, then we might be insecure, afraid our partners may leave us because they had a short fling isolated from the social sphere, and they might think so too!
The timing issue... yeah, some couples have this problem if the two complainers I sat next to in a coffee shop last week had anything to say, complain about. Their partners and their job schedules were out of sync, but gosh they were determined. That's the other thing, even though I said earlier that laziness is a reason for monogamy, another is the drive to prove things and succeed in relationships even through hardship. I would classify this as an element of romance. So staying monogamous for some people is triumphant, winning the game.
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ninetydegrees
no subject
on 2009-05-22 04:24 pm (UTC)Not necessarily, it could be to prove they are worthy, prove they have money, prove they can seduce someone, prove they can occupy their time with others without depending on their absent significant other. All or any of these reasons factor into relationships and extra-relationship relationships, but are they grounds for saying someone has a relationship or is just sleeping with someone to prove something?
Where can we draw the line? If we are interested in body contact, then any single contact might be considered "relationship." If we are interested in saying relationships are only those recognized by our family who recognizes marriage for life, than the affairs might amount to nothing and it is up to the individual whether they chose to use their time in this manner. If we believe a relationship may come out of a random or closeted affair, then we might be insecure, afraid our partners may leave us because they had a short fling isolated from the social sphere, and they might think so too!
The timing issue... yeah, some couples have this problem if the two complainers I sat next to in a coffee shop last week had anything to say, complain about. Their partners and their job schedules were out of sync, but gosh they were determined. That's the other thing, even though I said earlier that laziness is a reason for monogamy, another is the drive to prove things and succeed in relationships even through hardship. I would classify this as an element of romance. So staying monogamous for some people is triumphant, winning the game.