Convo and waiting
Aug. 20th, 2002 02:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mik3caps: "That over there is the sketchy table. All you sketchy people are sitting over there."
"Tom, you're like the Czar of Sketchy. No, wait, you're the god-emperor of sketchy."
"No, I'm Baron Sketchy."
"No no no - you're Baron von SKETCHYPANTS!!"
And now, the demurred portion of the evening, as we begin to lose consciousness and slip into the oblivious slumber that awaits.
We've now moved officially from "everybody's getting married" stage to "everybody's having babies" stage. And while I don't particularly feel like I'm in a race with anyone... I do feel like I'm missing out. I'm starting to miss dating a little. Trying and not getting anywhere is probably better than not trying and not getting anywhere. Part of me believes that, I think.
I'm not an unhappy person. I don't really want for anything material or spiritual. But I really don't want to live in an emotional void anymore. It's as if there's only this one, limited level of happiness I can really achieve on my own - and I'm there, I'm definitely there. I think I'm as happy as I can get by myself. The only way I'll go up from here is if I can share this happiness with someone; or if I could use my happiness to make someone else happy.
Good things come to those who wait, I suppose. Waiting is such a cruel chore. A godawful fucking burden.
Something in me doesn't want to go to bed tonight. Here it is, 2:20am, and even though I'm tired from running around all day... even though I have to run around all day tomorrow and have to be awake in six hours... I don't want to let go of today. I want to run through the streets and search for that happiness to come. I want to drive and drive until I reach the ends of roads and finally achieve what I seek.
I'm damn tired of waiting.
"Tom, you're like the Czar of Sketchy. No, wait, you're the god-emperor of sketchy."
"No, I'm Baron Sketchy."
"No no no - you're Baron von SKETCHYPANTS!!"
And now, the demurred portion of the evening, as we begin to lose consciousness and slip into the oblivious slumber that awaits.
We've now moved officially from "everybody's getting married" stage to "everybody's having babies" stage. And while I don't particularly feel like I'm in a race with anyone... I do feel like I'm missing out. I'm starting to miss dating a little. Trying and not getting anywhere is probably better than not trying and not getting anywhere. Part of me believes that, I think.
I'm not an unhappy person. I don't really want for anything material or spiritual. But I really don't want to live in an emotional void anymore. It's as if there's only this one, limited level of happiness I can really achieve on my own - and I'm there, I'm definitely there. I think I'm as happy as I can get by myself. The only way I'll go up from here is if I can share this happiness with someone; or if I could use my happiness to make someone else happy.
Good things come to those who wait, I suppose. Waiting is such a cruel chore. A godawful fucking burden.
Something in me doesn't want to go to bed tonight. Here it is, 2:20am, and even though I'm tired from running around all day... even though I have to run around all day tomorrow and have to be awake in six hours... I don't want to let go of today. I want to run through the streets and search for that happiness to come. I want to drive and drive until I reach the ends of roads and finally achieve what I seek.
I'm damn tired of waiting.
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Re: Yes Indeed
on 2002-08-20 11:45 am (UTC)Re: Yes Indeed
on 2002-08-20 11:54 am (UTC)