Writer's Block: There Can Be Only One

[mik3cap]

[Error: unknown template qotd]I have a hard time "believing" in something that rarely works and often leads to misery and heartache. Do I believe in commitment? Yes. Do I believe in special relationships between two people? Absolutely. But it seems to me to be completely naive to not recognize that "cheating" is rampant and causes so much difficulty, and it's quite obvious that the whole concept of cheating goes away when people realize that love is not a scarce commodity, that it's better to share, and that, even when time and energy are limited, that being with more than one person at once can enhance the quality of life for all people involved. Monogamy comes from insecurity and jealousy, and both of those feelings are very negative and self-destructive. If you have a true commitment with a person, even if that person is being shared with other people, you shouldn't feel insecure or jealous. When that person demonstrates his or her commitment to you over and over (the same way it would happen with monogamy) what more evidence do you require - and why would it matter that he or she spends time with another person as long as you get what you need from him or her?

Comments

[mikecap.livejournal.com]

If a couple devotes all their time and energy to one another, but remains open to the possibility of spending time and energy with more people should time and energy stores become greater, I wouldn't call that couple "believers" in monogamy or even necessarily monogamous. On the other hand, nearly every time I have spoken to monogamous people about the root reasons for their monogamy, they almost always go back to "I don't want to share (time/energy/partner)" and those words can only come from possessiveness, which I think is a negative thing and stems back to insecurity and jealousy.

To me, asking about "believing" in monogamy is asking if one thinks monogamy is "the true path" and sounds practically religious.