Always Coming, Never Here

Recently my microwave decided to become a death ray, so I took its ass out to the curb. I think I will not be getting another one. In all honesty, I only used it a couple times a week - and when I did, it was to heat up a frozen prepared food like a boca burger. So even though microwaves are cheaper and relatively easy to get a hold of, I've decided the stove will do just fine for me. I don't need food heated up in an instant! It's better to take time to prepare my food, it's more intentional that way, and I can get more flavors into it with a real cooking process. And using the stove or oven means I don't have to worry about the uneven heating characteristic of microwave cookery.

I mean really, it's just another unwieldy kitchen appliance that sucks up electricity and is not a good multitasker. It may even be responsible for unhealthier eating in general, making "convenience food" like hot pockets easier to toss down a gullet.

I think it's great that I've built a reputation amongst my friends as a foodie, and I appreciate when folks point me towards links demonstrating some kind of "sensational" food find - I always want to know what the trends in food are and what people are doing. A bunch of folks have recently told me about things being done with bacon: bacon explosion, caramelized bacon, and so on.

But I have to say, it is with most humble sincerity that I must submit: that kind of thing is KID STUFF.

I once made a five pound pizza. Pound of dough, pound of cheese, pound each of bacon, sausage, pepperoni. I made it in a huge deep dish pan, and it was so greasy the oils literally fried the one inch deep crust through all the way to the bottom. Not even The Angry Maw could finish more than one slice!! After doing that, I had the idea of having the "five pound foods" party - making things like a five pound burger, five pounds of nachos, five pounds of chili, and so on. Never quite got that far though, the five pound pizza made it seem... impractical, to say the least.

Then there was the time I made (with the help of two sous chefs towards the end, one was a vegetarian serving wench!) a meal for 10 called The Morning Eye Opener. YES. I literally prepared all of those items on a plate for ten people each. It took about a week of preparation, and five hours of execution to cook it all. I timed everything down to the minute so I could deliver all the food hot on the plate at the same time. I bought ten serving platters at the dollar store so I could serve all the food on them. The only thing I didn't do was attempt to make a giant tortilla to wrap it all into a Breakfast Burrito. After the cooking was complete, every surface in the kitchen was literally coated in a sheen of pork grease, and the floor was almost too slippery to walk on. Take a look.

I singlehandedly hosted and catered a 50 person Super Bowl party at my scary haunted house in Worcester in 2004. I made vegetarian, vegan, and meat-laden versions of every dish I prepared (hors d'oeuvres, pizzas, giant sandwiches, snack mixes, and so on).

I was part of a "meat luck" party where every dish that people brought to the party needed to contain, at a minimum, two kinds of meat in order to be considered a meat dish. A bowl of bacon was considered "salad". One of the dishes at that party was a bacon explosion of sorts, though it contained pork loin, venison, bacon, and sausage.

Another idea I've had with friends and never followed through on, but would be willing to do: The Hot Sauce Roulette Pot Luck Party. Proceed as follows: Invite N people to a pot luck party (include self). Ask invitees to prepare a dish with N-1 servings - one of the servings to contain an overwhelmingly spicy ingredient. It is critical the all servings look and smell exactly the same! Spicy ingredients must be internal or well hidden. At the time of the party, each dish is eaten in turn by all invitees (except the person who brought it) at the same time, at which point the spicy foodstuff is discovered. At the end awards would be given out for "Most Spicy Food Found", "Least Spicy Food Found", "Lucky Bastard", "Tastiest Dish" and so on.

So, yes, it is with all modesty that I must admit that things like the bacon explosion are indeed child's play.

A quick summary of me (stealed from arachne8x):
33 going on 34.

Grew up in North Branford, CT but born in New Haven, CT.

Fluent in English, smattering of French, currently studying Homeric Greek.

Nearly 100% Italian - father is all Italian, mother is 75%, with some German and Irish.

Schooled publicly until college, then started studying Physics at WPI. Eventually switched to Computer Science.

Longest relationship was 4.5 years, ended in a broken engagement in 1999. Have since been alternately single and dating sporadically; current relationship is longest one since then (1 year!). [polyamorous]

Working as a consultant for Robert Half Technology, sourced to Plus One Holdings.

Leo, spiritual, anti-religious.

Very fond of cats.

Rapturous lover of preparing and eating food; most fond of pizza, wine, cheese, and chocolate.

Ambitions to get a tattoo (maybe a depiction of Quetzalcoatl).

LARPer and LARP GM/creator.

Comic book collector (approximately 5,000).

Gamer (board, card, video, miniature, role-playing, ANYTHING).

Writer (mainly poetry and short fiction).

Aspiring artist.

Fried peanut butter, banana, and honey sandwich... with BACON.

Elvis wept!!! Washed down with a Welch's grape ice cream soda.

Many thanks to Sylvia for taking me to Peanut Butter & Co. last night! :D

Located near East 4th Street and Avenue B, the E.U. takes good food seriously, yet still has a casual flair for its atmosphere. The cavern-like dining area is decorated sparsely, but creatively, with neo-industrial lighting and artifacts; a miniscule bar at the back of the establishment speaks to the recent acquisition of their liquor license.

( Read more... )

A week and a half ago my bosses took me and three other co-workers out for dinner at Abbicci, an amazing restaurant right up the street from me. Turned out that this was their last dinner before major renovations that will be taking place over the coming 4 plus months (raising the building off its foundation, pouring a good one and making a basement, and adding an addition to the first and second floors). It was also one of their wine pairing meals - 7 courses with 7 wines from the Piedmont region of Italy... they even had the actual vintners from Italy eating with us! It was an amazing experience.

( This is what we had )

"Love is in the air. And the entire single population is wondering... am I too short, too tall, too bald, too pale, too big, too skinny, too nice, too mean, too picky, too boring, too busy, too hairy, too weird? Well, the answer is... maybe."

But Dairy Queen loves me just the way I am. :)

I just peeled an orange, and it looked like a grapefruit inside. BIZARRO!!

Apparently it is a "red navel" or Cara Cara orange, grown in California in the winter months. It's mighty tasty!

oh damn them brownies came out goooooooood.