EPILOGUE

Meanwhile, inside a volcano on a remote island, thousands of miles away...

[INT. VOLCANO FORTRESS]

[DICK CHENEY rolls his wheelchair into his SECRET LABORATORY, followed by the creepy, hunched-over, Peter Lorre-like GEORGE W. BUSH]

DICK CHENEY: Well, my sniveling friend, we did it.

GEORGE BUSH: We shore did, master!

DC: Now that we've destabilized the Middle East, disrupted oil markets, and destroyed the U.S. financial system, the WORLD is ripe for CONQUEST!

GB: Yeeee-ha! [GB dances a sporty little jig]

DC: Halliburton will slowly take over more and more functions from the government, outsourcing for soldiers and infrastructure projects - but when the final phase of my plan is in place, they'll have no choice but give everything over to MY company! Since we rendered FEMA all but useless, no other government agency will be able to respond to the wrath of...

[DC pushes a button on his wheelchair arm; camera pans over to a large object covered by a tarp, which is released by DC's action.]

DC: MY WEATHER DOMINATOR!!

[A giant supervillain gun! Dramatic music!!]

[Suddenly, a HENCHMAN wearing a yellow jumpsuit with an armband sporting the characteristic villain-like bear logo of Blackwater Worldwide hops into frame]

HENCHMAN: Sir! We've just detected an intruder in the Eastern Corridor!

[DC produces a shotgun from behind his wheelchair and shoots the HENCHMAN in the face]

HENCHMAN: AARRRRGHH... THANK YOU SIR!

DC: This will not do. Send all available men to the armory and prepare them for battle!

[ALARMS sound, and DC pushes himself towards an exit. We hear a girlie scream from GB, and the camera turns just in time to see him slump to the ground, unconscious.]

DC: WHAT?? WHO?? [waving the shotgun wildly]

[Kiefer Sutherland melts out from the shadows behind DC, and yanks the shotgun out of his hand]

JACK BAUER: It's just me, Dick. Your old friend: Jack Bauer.

DC: Nooooo!!!

JB: Oh yes. Yes indeed. I've got a plank and a bucket of water waiting for you in your office...

DC: Mommmmyy!!!

[JB wheels DC out the door. END SCENE.]

Comics I Am Currently Reading

People often ask me what I'm into in comics these days. Here then is my semi-irregular post containing my current subscription list (title - publisher, bold are something you really ought to read):

( Read more... )

General notes: I'm still heavily into Warren Ellis, he dominates my list. Other than that, these days I find I'm liking Avengers, Thor, Punisher, and Iron Man. DC is just a freaking mess, I can't get into any of those mainstream storylines any more. Final Crisis was an ACTUAL crisis for the publisher, methinks. And the whole Wildstorm universe is being plunged into crap as well, so I dumped a lot of stuff that just wasn't any good.